5 Great Things about Singapore 2

1 Best Zoo, Best Night Safari, Best Birdpark

Singapore of course has the world renowned Zoo, Night Safari, and of course the Birdpark, places which make Singapore such a wonderful place to live in. Now, not only can we get to see monkeys in parliament*, we get to see them in natural habitats in an artificial zoo, something that defines the very essence of dramatic irony. Never mind that we only visit them once a year or once a decade, our primary school kids visit the places more frequently than us (twice a year or twice a decade). In fact, when I think of the parallel success of both Sg and its wonderful zoo, I reflect in wonderment and awe. This is because I think of the Zoo and all its animals in captivity, well taken care of, no fear of being hungry or thirsty, no fear of being liberated into the wild to fend for itself, I cant help but heave a contented sigh that I am living in Sg, where I am well taken care of, no fear of being hungry or thirsty, no fear of being liberated into the wild to fend for myself.

*Because I heard that when you pay peanuts you get monkeys. Just kidding, don't ISD me!

2 No uncertainty or indecisiveness

Of course, with such a wonderful government controlled by an extremely capable political party, there is no uncertainty for our country's future. Even when the time comes when every citizen is called upon to make a decision which could either make or break the country, we can be rest assured that such a weight is virtually lifted off our shoulders because there is no doubt who we will vote for and who will once again return to power. As such we will never make a wrong decision that we may live to regret in the future. Neither do we need to consider differing viewpoints, which may result in confusion or disillusionment. As I say something which may be quotable, 'If there is no other way then there is no wrong way'.

3 Finding Love is never easier

Unlike other countries whereby selfish governments leave their citizens in the lurch, expecting them to find their own life partners or dwell in the meaningless ether of solitarity, we have in place sound policies to ensure we are given a helping hand. To facilitate this process, we are even spared the effort of sifting through those which are not worthy of consideration. This is achieved by having 2 separate entities, SDU and SDS, so as to separate the elite mould from the averages. No where else in the world would you have everything laid out in a platter like Sg!

4 No gambling (at least for now)

Sinful gamblers are denied the chance to spread their vile habits and their negative contributions to society because gambling is banned in Sg. They are exiled to a cruise ship where they can sin away their lives and money.

No casinos, no betting shops. Hey wait a minute, I forgot about Singapore Pools. Oh and they are thinking of building a casino. Oh damn. What will happen to our once pristine society if it is stained by the presence of this vile institution of casinos? A mindnumbingly grand total of one of them, on a not obscure island off Singapore's coast. There is a high chance that its evil sphere of influence will spread like a sneaky plague across the bridge and engulf singapore in a wave of avarice, and stain our very souls with its inherent evil.

Although we certainly could do without the evils, even if this happens, Singapore would still be a great place to be in, because we now have one more place to go to during our weekends! Not to gamble, mind you! Thats evil! But just to 'look and see'.

5 We are entitled to cars!

Unlike other countries whereby buying and selling of cars only result in acquisition or relinquishment of the car, in Sg we actually get a wonderful certificate proclaiming our ENTITLEMENT to usage of the car. This saves us the hassle and dangers of being acquiring ownership to cars (So much responsibility!) and also makes it easier for us to get rid of it because we sure as hell don't want to be using them after 10 years because the exhaust will give out outdated quantities of carbon monoxides and other toxic substances which is not good for our health. Never mind that the piece of paper is more expensive than the car itself, it has the side benefit of regulating the number of cars on the road so that there will not be traffic jams, especially in the peak hour. Also never mind that public transports have human jams during peak hour. BO can be tolerated, but not exhaust.